Cultivating Sustainable Excellence: The High Performer’s Guide to Managing Perfectionism
At some point in your life, perhaps a mentor, a parent, or a colleague may have instilled in you unusually high standards. An unrelenting mantra of “Do more. Be more” may have formed the bedrock of your subconscious belief system. Such persistent pressure for perfection can influence your behaviors, habits, and, ultimately, your professional identity.
Perfectionism, if unmanaged, can have severe implications on your self-esteem, often promoting a wicked case of Imposter Syndrome that leads to self-doubt and fear of criticism. Such obstacles can take years to overcome, depending on the strategies used to address the root causes of your perfectionism that are directing your daily behaviors.
Perfectionism, in moderation, can be an amazing catalyst for achieving professional excellence. However, when it begins to erode your sense of self-worth, it’s time to take a closer look to quiet those inner critics to a level that promotes healthier work habits and sustainable success.
Here are eight ways perfectionism may have permeated your professional psyche. As you navigate through this list, reflect on what might be fueling your perfectionist tendencies.
- Nature: Research suggests that perfectionism may have a genetic component, which means that it can be inherited from one’s parents. Whether this is inherited from their chromosome material or the learned patterns of perfectionistic abuse handed down from one generation to the next, is worthy of further discussion.
- Nurture: Excessive demands for perfectionism from parents, teachers, or other authority figures during childhood who were highly critical, shaming, or abusive can also contribute to the development of perfectionistic behaviors in a person.
- Insecure attachment: We all seek to love and feel loved. However, if you have an insecure attachment style, such as anxious or avoidant attachment, it can also contribute to the development of perfectionism tendencies as a way to prove one’s lovability in relationships.
- Fear of failure: Fear of failure or making mistakes can drive someone to strive for perfection and avoid any possibility of failure. This can be driven by outside forces such as parental controls, a boss, or even from within yourself as the critical self-voice drives you to constantly be the best.
- Low self-esteem or feeling inadequate: People with low self-esteem and low self-worth may feel the need to be perfect to gain approval, love, or acceptance from others. They feel their value is only measured by their achievements, not simply for who they authentically are.
- Black and White thinking: having a fixed mindset (vs. a growth mindset) that there are only 2 options for completion. Perfection or anything less than that, which is unacceptable and means “I’m no good” or “I’m never enough.”
- Trauma: Trauma, such as childhood abuse or neglect, can contribute to the development of perfectionism as a coping mechanism to gain control over one’s environment in an attempt to feel “safe” and quiet the incessant voice of fear in your mind that can run you to the point of exhaustion.
- Cultural, educational, and social expectations: Cultural, educational, and social expectations around achievement and success can also contribute to the development of perfectionism. Social media has created a constant state of compare and contrast with others’ seemingly “perfect” lives, which can lead to a host of other addictions, disorders and even suicidal ideation.
In fact, the Pain In the Nation 2022 Report states, “Deaths associated with alcohol, drugs, and suicide took the lives of 186,763 Americans in 2020, a 20 percent one-year increase in the combined death rate.” This indicates a direct correlation between societal pressures and detrimental mental health outcomes.
Should someone you know be struggling with destructive perfectionism, addiction, or suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately by dialing or messaging 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis hotline available 24/7.
Help is at hand.
It’s possible to retrain your brain to mute the perfectionist inner voices and foster more constructive internal dialogues. Regardless of how long you’ve struggled with debilitating perfectionism, new perspectives can be adopted to promote healthy ambition without it becoming all-consuming.
To achieve sustainable excellence in work and life, it’s important to cultivate a healthy balance between striving for excellence and avoiding the pitfalls of perfectionism.
Here are 7 practical tips for managing perfectionism and achieving sustainable excellence in work and life.
1. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity: Instead of fearing failure, embrace it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Every mistake is a chance to gain valuable feedback and improve your skills.
2. Set realistic goals and deadlines: Break down big projects into smaller, more manageable tasks, and set realistic goals and deadlines for each one. This will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed and stay on track.
3. Prioritize self-care: Make time for self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. Taking care of your physical and mental health will help you stay focused and energized.
4. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer to a friend. Don’t beat yourself up over mistakes or setbacks and remember that perfection is based on your own perception, so find the “done is better than perfect” perspective that empowers you.
5. Focus on progress, not perfection: Instead of striving for perfection, focus on making progress towards your goals. Celebrate small wins and milestones along the way and use them as motivation to keep going.
6. Embrace a growth mindset: Adopt a growth mindset that emphasizes learning, improvement, and resilience over fixed abilities or innate talent. Believe that your skills and abilities can be developed through hard work and dedication.
7. Seek support when needed: Don’t be afraid to ask for help or seek support when you need it. Whether it’s from a mentor, coach, or therapist, having someone to talk to can help you gain perspective and overcome challenges.
Managing perfectionism is a journey, not a destination.
By putting these tips into practice, you can achieve sustainable excellence in work and life.
Remember, you are not alone in your struggles with perfectionism, and there is no shame in asking for help or support.
Share your own tips and experiences related to managing perfectionism in the comments, and let’s support each other in our quest for excellence.