Have you’ve ever felt like an imposter in your job? Worried that someone was going to call you out for not having all the answers? Or tell you you’re not as 
talented/smart/capable as everyone else thinks you are?
Well, you’re not alone. Imposter syndrome is a pretty common occurrence for both men and women.
But did you know that there are different faces and facets to Imposter Syndrome? Each one is its own avatar for feeling like a fraud.
Which Imposter Avatar Have You Taken On?
Dr. Valerie Young defined five facets of imposter syndrome in her book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women.
Let’s take a closer look at these different imposter avatars so you can recognize how this unwanted “friend” is showing up in your life. Recognizing your fears is the first step to reclaiming your power back from your them.
“When you look fear in the face,
it quickly disappears into the nothingness that it is.”
“The Perfectionist” Looks & Sounds Like:
- Everything must be done to perfection and yet that still never feels “enough”
- You keep raising the bar on yourself (and others) so you’re never satisfied with what’s achieved
- “If I were really competent, I would deliver perfect work 100% of the time.”
As you may have guessed, the perfectionist is always striving for more, greater heights of achievements and kudos just to feel “good enough.” You have exacting standards for the way things ‘should’ be done. Every. Single. Time. No if’s, ands or buts.
This can be exhausting. Not only for you but for your team as well!
The hidden fear: Losing control
Your Mental Reframe:
- “Perfectionism inhibits success.”
- “Sometimes good is good enough.”
- “Non-perfection is to be welcomed.”
“The Superwoman/man” Looks & Sounds Like:
- You’re proud of all the extra hours you’re working, like it’s a badge of honor (or a cape) which validates your contributions
- You don’t mind working long hours as a way to avoid feeling other more uncomfortable feelings or being distracted by negative thoughts
- “If I were really competent, I would be able to do it ALL.”
If being a Super Woman or Man resonates with you, it’s likely that there are other underlying fears and anxiety that you’re avoiding feeling. You can tell yourself that if you just spin enough plates in the air at once, getting as much done as humanly possible, keeping yourself busy, those pesky other negative feelings might just disappear.
Wrong. They will get buried, only to return on another unsuspecting day. Not to mention you’re creating a whole different level of stress, worry and angst in your body.
The hidden fear: Avoiding other fears, like being with yourself.
Your Mental Reframe:
- “Really, it’s ok to say No.”
- “Slow down and let go of unnecessary tasks so you can focus on the people/activities that really matter.”
- “Set a healthy example for your children and your employees.”
“The Natural Genius” Looks & Sounds Like:
- You disregard your success because you think “Everyone can do that.”
- When pushed to take your work to the next level of quality, you get uncomfortable or overwhelmed or threatened
- “If I were really competent, I would learn quickly and easily the first time without any guidance or mistakes.”
This imposter avatar is pretty used to getting things done quickly and without too much expenditure of time or effort. This has enabled you to sail through a lot of different situations, until it doesn’t. And when the Natural Genius gets called out to improve their work, it is uncharted waters. Leaving you feeling like a failure or incredulous, or worse, with a bad attitude for being told what to do to improve your work.
The hidden fear: Fear (or shame) of failing
Your Mental Reframe:
- “Effort beats ability.”
- “Real success takes a bit of time.”
- “Challenges are opportunities to learn and grow.”
“The Soloist” Looks & Sounds Like:
- Asking for help is as painful as going to the dentist or doing your taxes, so you avoid it for as long as possible
- Having to depend on others to get something done only leads to disappointment or failure, which only reinforces the idea “I should just do it all myself.”
- “If I were really competent, I could do everything by myself.”
Similar to our Natural Genius Avatar, the Soloist avoids getting help or assistance with their work, no matter what. As a Soloist, you’re not interested in the opinions or help from others because assistance might just expose your weaknesses that you’re desperately trying to conceal from the world. And your ego just can’t have that.
The hidden fear: Fear (or shame) of failing
Your Mental Reframe:
- “Competent people know how to ask for help.”
- “It’s ok to build on the work of other experienced people.”
- “Smart people seek out others who know more than they do.”
“The Expert” Looks & Sounds Like:
- You feel you need to get the next credential to prove you know what you’re doing before applying for a new position.
- You don’t want to share information with the rest of the team until you’re sure you have it all “right” first.
- “If I were really competent, I would know everything there is to know about ______.”
The Expert imposter avatar loves to hoard knowledge, research, books and credentials to fill their brain with more information so they can always have an answer at the ready when asked. Not having the answer however is mortifying and means you’re ‘not enough’ in some way shape or form. This form of looking bad is not permitted by the ego.
The truth is, no one has ALL of the answers (except maybe Google…).
The hidden fear: Feeling not enough
Your Mental Reframe:
- “The path to expert takes many roads.”
- “You can never “know it all.”
- “You don’t’ need to have all the answers but you can be clever enough to find someone who has the answer you’re seeking.”
Regardless of which face of Imposter Syndrome you might be wearing, the good news is, you can always take that mask off. You can rewire your thinking with new thoughts to get better outcomes.
Remember: You are perfectly imperfect just as you are, and just as you aren’t. And you will always be enough.
The more you can learn to love and appreciate yourself for your contributions to the world, the more you will find peace within yourself.
Michele Molitor, CPCC, PCC, RTT, C-Hyp
Your Executive Confidence Coach & Rapid Rewire Expert
Michele Molitor is the Founder and CEO of Nectar Consulting Inc., and co-author of the best-selling book “Breakthrough Healing.” She works with executives and entrepreneurs bringing over 25 years of experience, intuitive insights and strategic business savvy to their success. She is an expert at helping business professionals remove the blocks created by imposter syndrome to help them achieve greater success, well-being, and career satisfaction.
Michele’s unique Rapid RewiringTM approach is a culmination of years of study in the realms of emotional intelligence, neuroscience, organizational psychology and Rapid Transformational Therapy. She helps catalyze shifts in thinking and eliminate mental/emotional blocks to rapidly rewire your brain for greater confidence and success.
She has provided executive coaching, training, leadership development, organizational development and Rapid Transformational Therapy globally to individuals and entire organizations in a variety of industries verticals: Insurance, Law, Engineering, Education, Marketing, High Tech, Finance, and Real Estate in both the public and private sectors. Helping organizations revitalize their teams, enhance emotional intelligence, create strong cultures of positive communication while infusing them with clarity, purpose and greater productivity.
As a nationally recognized speaker, certified executive coach, certified Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) practitioner, certified hypnotherapist, consultant, trainer, and writer, Michele’s passion for helping amplify natural talents and expand leadership is conveyed through all aspects of her work and writing.
Nectar Consulting, Inc. is also a Certified B Corporation.
Helping others to #DoWellByDoingGood.
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