What’s the difference between Wanting and Having?

Let’s make an important distinction. You see, there is a big difference between “Wanting” and “Having” something.

Wanting: means lacking or absent. Deficient in some part, thing or aspect.

Having: means to possess, to hold, to get, to receive, to experience.

You can have one OR the other, but not both at the same time with any particular object of your desire.

You either have it or you don’t.

So what does this have to do with creating your success?

What I’ve noticed in the difference between successful people and not-so- successful people, is as simple as this: successful people think and talk about what they are creating, and unsuccessful people focus on and talk about what they’re lacking.

So when it comes to your subconscious, if you’re focusing on the “wanting”, i.e. the not having, guess what, you will build stronger neural networks in your brain around the “wanting.”

The good news is, our brains have a massive capacity for learning and growth. Through the power of your subconscious mind, you can focus on the “having” as if it has already happened.

Research has shown that your brain doesn’t know the difference between what you’re visualizing inside your mind versus what is happening out there in your reality.

Elite athletes use this practice a lot it turns out. They spend as much time creating the mental and emotional states of their success via very specific visualizations and mental imagery, as they do actually physically practicing.

This helps develop both the neural pathways in their brain and the muscle memory to consistently deliver on that success when they’re in the heat of competition.

So how can you put the massive power of your subconscious mind to work for you?

Here are 10 simple and effective steps to hack your brain to create your version of a successful life. The more you practice these steps regularly and make them a habit, the more results you will see begin to unfold.

  1. Decide exactly what you want to create and have. This is usually the biggest problem that people have. They don’t know what they want and then they’re surprised when they don’t get it. Get clear on what you want and Why you want it – what’s the underlying motivation for each goal?
  2. Identify your goal clearly and concisely in every Technicolor detail and write it down. A goal that is not written down is merely a wish. When you write it down in full detail – the sights, the sounds, the smells, the emotions; you signal to your subconscious mind that you really want to accomplish this particular goal.
  3. Write your goal in simple, present tense words that a three year old can understand on a three-by-five index card and carry it with you, example: “I am healthy and strong.” Read it each morning after you awake and just before you go to sleep to tap into your brain’s Alpha waves.
  4. Backwards planning. See your goal achieved and identify all the steps required that it took to bring it to life. Making a list of all these steps intensifies your desire and deepens your belief that the attainment of the goal is already happening.
  5. Baby steps towards your goal. Resolve to take at least one step every day from one of the items on your list. Do something every day, even if it is just one small step that moves you toward your goal so you can maintain your momentum.
  6. Visualize your goal repeatedly. See it and experience it clearly and vividly in your mind’s eye as though it were already a reality. The more you flesh out all of the details in your mental picture of your goal, the faster it will come into your life.
  7. Feel the feeling of success as if your goal were realized at this very moment. Feel the emotion of happiness, satisfaction, and pleasure that you would have once you have achieved your goal. Visualize and feel this success for at least 20 seconds at a time.
  8. “Fake it till you make it!” Confidently behave as if your subconscious mind was already bringing your goal into reality. Accept that you are moving toward your goal and it is moving toward you.
  9. Relax your mind. Take time to breathe deeply, pray and/or mediate each day. Disengage the stress response and engage the relaxation response. A quiet state of mind allows your brain to access newly formed neural pathways.
  10. Turn it over to your subconscious mind. When you release your goal to the power of the Universe and just get out of the way, it makes it easier for that goal to come to life. “A watched pot never boils…”

Starting today, try making a game of putting your subconscious mind to work for your success. Pick one goal to start with and practice, practice, practice the steps above.

The more lightly you hold it, the easier it will be to achieve.

By doing so, you will move from Wanting to Having in no time as you tune into your own success more fully and completely!

Hit reply and let me know what you’re creating!

To your success!


Michele Molitor, CPCC, PCC, RTT

Your Executive Confidence Coach & Rapid Rewire Expert

As the founder and CEO of Nectar Consulting, Inc., Michele works with executives and entrepreneurs worldwide bringing over 25 years of experience, intuitive insights and strategic business savvy to your success.

Her unique inside-out approach is a culmination of years of study and practice in the realms of emotional intelligence, neuroscience, physics, psychology, sales, marketing and spiritual teachings to help catalyze shifts in your thinking, eliminate mental/emotional blocks and rewire your brain for greater confidence and success. All to enhance your capacity as a leader, build high performing teams and exponentially increase bottom line results. www.NectarConsulting.com

Enjoy her latest training:

“5 Steps To Confidently Excel In Your Career (Without Ever Feeling Like A Fraud)”

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